..::Skin Deep::..

Self Help for depression, self harm and other mental health issues.

Jan 2010 Updates.

I hear you speak, But I do not see your face. - BLG.

For today I am lost, 
My mind playing tricks
Am I here? Am I real?

I feel I am invisible,
Yet I feel so hurt.
No one can see me or feel my pain,
Yet the blood runs warm through my veins.

Who goes there? I heard you callÖ
Just the voices willing me to fall.
Into the trap of loneliness  and despair
I try to hold my head high and I try not to care.

Sometimes it become far too much
The pain, the voices and as such
Is it too much to ask, I just want to be free,
Just open me up with that little silver key.

I am but one, In this thing you call life.
I have to be strong and resist the knife.

Poetry

Painting - Mandy Staab

Painting,

Look at the painting,

Its getting more colourful with each day,

But no one knows why

But the thing is,

The Paintbrush is its fire and the blade,

And the canvus is my body....

 

No Title - Alex H
 
It's like a secret deep inside,
One that i have learnt to hide,
You people you will never see,
This darkest fear inside of me,
While outside i laugh and grin,
Inside there's a rotten sin,
I dream all day to carve away,
No help comes from what you say,
Inside me there's a deepest hate,
It seems this is to be my fate,
As i reach for that vicious knife,
I am so glad to leave this life,
As the blood pours thick and fast,
All my sins fade to past,
Your whispered crys ring in my ear,
There's nothing left for me to fear,
While i gladly slip away,
I hope to leave you better days.
 
a poem from teardrop
 
i felt so stuck
jammed
broke
perhaps feel like i had a stroke
my mouth couldn't smile
and it took awhile
just to get up and go
 
i felt so stressed
annoyed
a mess
treated like a dirty pest
everything was the trigger
the problem got bigger
liking this life less
i felt so alone
scared
a little girl
it was like me against the world
i couldn't do this by myself
had to get help
this life i had to take hold
 
i got the help
determined
got it on my own
matters didn't help at home
i tried my best
but failed the quest
i felt so ahamed, i cried and moaned
 
i felt so dissapointed
gutted
ashamed
i could of done it, i could of gained
but i gave in
unable to win
the fight the pain

Cassie Thompson - Best Friends

I met a new best friend today
we never ran out of things to say
It seems i have known her my whole life
and we chatted about life's constant rife

I told her all my lost hopes, broken dreams
She has been there too it seems
She listens quietly, I love her so much
and my heart she managed to see and touch

We stand there,choked up and crying
Then i found out i was lying
I reach out to draw her nearer
it hits me that my best friend is only a mirror

The Broken Child- Katie Beamon
 
Here I stand blocked by these four walls,
 
They start to close in,
 
The space is getting small,
 
All alone lost in the dark,
 
Trying to find a place on my heart where there is no marks
 
I try to stay strong pull through it all,
 
But slowly i can feel myself starting to fall
 
The place that once made me feel happiness inside,
 
Suddenly begins to make me cry
 
Where i once felt together,
 
Now feel broken,
 
So many words left unspoken
 
Until she finds out how to open the gate,
 
She'll just have to sit here,
 
WAIT
 
Hidden underneath this fake smile,
 
Is the fucked up life of a broken child
 
Searching for something real,
 
To help her broken heart heal
 
Lost in the darkness,
 
Can't find the light
 
Searching for someone,
 
No-one in sight
 
Betrayed by her loved ones,
 
Hit with the lies,
 
The understanding she no longer tries
 
Inside shes filled with so much rage,
 
Feels like shes locked in some big cage
 
Her life is like a dark path,
 
Where is she to go you do the math?
 
Everyones always telling her what to be,
 
All she wants to do is be free
 
She's waiting for someone to come set her free,
 
But thats like waiting for a blind man to see
 
crimsom tears  by liz
 
hearts bound by chains of fear
lost in the darkness by so many tears
trapped in an illusion of light
to be found in an endless night
 
tears fall in a rain of sorrow
broken souls that cannot be mend
relief in the form of a crimson river
a vicious circle with no end.
 
 
goodbye  by liz
 
my heart i cannot save
remember what i gave
my spirit will carry on
and rise above
at the break of dawn
 
 
the mask  by liz
 
she wears a smile
an etternal mask
the think she's happy
so why would they ask
 
she always seems cheerful
so the forgot
she is only human
not as strong as a rock
 
each day she wears the mask
and tries to hide her fears
but when she comes home
she lets out all her tears
 
she's not as happy as they think
if only they would ask
then maybe, just maybe
she'd put away her mask 
 
safe haven  by liz
 
drowning in my own emotion
confussion filling my mind
straying from the path i'm walking
my  sanity i'll never find
 
being pulled under by a wave of sorrow
what will be my fate
will i rise and find safe haven
or will i be to late

 

closed casket
 
Eight hours have crawled
since the alarm crowed,
but I remain mummified
in these soiled sheets
as merciless bedbugs feast
on my breathing corpse.
Is this a dark dorm room
or the blatant reality
of Lazarus's tomb?
A demon with one eye
has been staring at me
while faint sunrays diminish.
His voice impersonations
can't appease these tumults
surrounding my sobbing heart
as twilight ink begins to spill
through azure threads above.
I just want to fall into a deep sleep
and never have to wake again,
yet I already sense the fact
that I was born deceased.
No one will miss me,
and neither will I
after being exhausted
from building Babel ambitions
and drowning in Titanic dreams
which never seem to venture
from the docks of my cranium
or at least be floating along
when they collide with icebergs
chipped off from a freezing society
where love and respect wax cold
on a "one of those days" basis.
Even failures can say
that they put up good fights
in aiming everyday
for constellation status.
Now if that's the case,
then I am lower by far,
taking up valuable space
and wasting precious hours
being the constant guest of honor
at another series of pity parties.
Why am I even on this mattress,
much less on this lurid globe,
still crying out for true serenity?
Could it be possible that a holy God
can pardon my proud warfare?
Such forgiveness can't exist
in the concourse of talk shows
or grim hip hop anecdotes
pumping into my busted eardrums.
I can't live another day
with the answer staying absent
from my morbid questions and thoughts.
What, or Who, could be missing
from my heart which has become crowded
with the plastic promises of this world?
 
 
Copyright 2008.  Streetlight Publications.
 
 
 
 
 
Thank you.  Peace (John 14:27).
 
 

 


 
 

 

My Suicide -By Gemma Boyle (owner)

As I sit up in my room

My eyes fill with tears of doom.

What will I do? Where will I go?

I canít leave my blood to flow!

My suicide

My suicide

 

The clock is ticking

My time is up.

My mind is telling me

No one gives a fuck!

My suicide

My suicide

 

All my fears

Have disappeared.

Not 2 Blasts

But just 1.

It took from that little gun!

My suicide

My suicide

 

No one knows

No one cares.

Iíll leave this poem

On my chair!

My suicide

My suicide

 

Who is this Girl? - by Gemma Boyle (owner)

 

Here she stands

Holding a razor

in her hands

 

Just one cut

and she will be free

And she can be

Who she wants to be

 

How can she live

in this tormented life?

Be a friend and pass the knife!

 

She looks

so lonely, sad ad blue

she can never

see the light shine through!

Someone help here

someone see

that this girl is really me!!!

 

 

poem by anon!

 

She looks back at me,
Her face pale and white,
Her hair hangs wildly,
And her eyes look sad and tight.


If she dies tomorrow, next week or today,
Theres things she will regret,
And things that she should say.


Shes not afaraid to die,
But theres things she should of said,
But she didn't know how to voice them,
So she kept them in her head.


So if she never see you,
She wants you to know,
You'll be in her heart,
Where ever she may go.


She looks into my eyes,
This girl who i call 'she,'
A tear falls down her cheek,
It's so easy to forget that this girl is really me.


samantha R.

 

 

Im going to draw a picture

 

Im gonna draw a picture
A picture with a twist
I will draw it with a razor blade
I will draw it on my wirst
And when i have finished
A fountain will appear
It will drain away my troubles
And make them dissappear.

 

Poem - marilyn manson

I cut deeper,

Until the blood flows,

Until the mark of my pain shows,

Cover up the scars,

Hide my work,

They just dont understand,

Nothing will ever work!

They think im crazy,

They just dont see,

Self-Mutilation is fun..

..and i know you'll agree!

 

Poems By Jenna

~I Want The Sun~ 
In the midnight hours When your face haunts me I become afriad and alone When will you leave and go? The hours drag on and I become withdrawn I lay awake and Wait for the early sun To break over the clouds So i can break free Why won't u just let me be?

~Moon Light~

Tonight in the darkness of the moon I lay down my heavy head While shadows whisper Their horrific tunes As i am engulfed By the grasping sheets of my bed

~I Need To Try~

How do i feel 
How can this all be real? I feel like dying But i keep on trying I want to fall And to loose it all it's still the same You're keeping me sane

~Blood Tears~

If blood tears were to fall They would stain the White sheets of My delicate heart How can one love and hate This darkness without Ever fully understanding it 

~Tattered Wings~

My wings are tattered Bloody and torn Dying, falling, i slowly crawl My life is forfeit No longer mine by right I lost it when i took my flight

~Don't Try To Change Me~

Take me for what i am Make me into what i am not Turn me into what i wish to be And see me for what you want 


~Night Watchers~

The house is ghostly With no souls I climb the long And winding stairs With some of the power That i do have left I slowly find my way Into my cold bed I try to sleep but All i can see are The watchers of the night

~Peaceful Dreams~

All i hear is ringing Here in my head Oh how i long for When i am dead I want no noise I want no fears Just leave me here With my blood stained tears How was this done? I shout and scream In this darkened room Bring back my peaceful dreams

~Late Night Watchers~

I often come home Late at night As i know that i am Accepted by the Watchers of the night I answer to no-one and I can be myself without Having to explain All of my actions

A poem by britt!

AS i sit and wonder, wonder why, why i really want to die? I think its cuz of what they all did and how i jst want 2 get rid, of all those memmories that they left me with. Its not that easy 2 explain i just cant seem to get rid of this pain!

Poem by Lauren

i'm sitting here with nothing to do.

what the hell am i going to do?
i go to the bathroom and reach for the blade,
put it by my wrist and there it laid,
pushing it deeper until i bleed,
this is exactly what i need,
the pain and suffering i just felt,
all begins to fade and melt

 

Poem by Jimmy

Play with razors
Play with knives
Cut yourself
And live your life

cut it deep
Hit the vien
Let it bleed,
Bleed,and bleed

So cold inside
So hard to live
Cut again
You've hit again

Hit the floor
Bleed to death
Die right there
Thats the rest

You've gone too far
Your so depressed
You die to live
Yet lived to die

You dont regret
The things you did
You hurt inside
And did what you did!!!

I'm Sorry By Nicole
 
I'm sorry that we're best friends,
For forever til' the end.
I'm sorry I'm not good enough,
To be your girlfriend.
 
I'm sorry I love you so much,
That I long to feel your touch.
I'm sorry you won't even give me a chance,
As I feel I'm in a rut.
 
I'm sorry you feel nothing for me,
You've broken my heart as you can see.
I'm sorry my soul cries for you,
For we will never be.
 
I'm sorry for what I'm about to do,
As I prepare, I grab my tool.
I'm sorry as I pull the trigger,
For I'm doing this because of you.
 
I'm sorry you couldn't see the love,
That was standing right in front of you.
I'm sorry I went to another place,
But now I can call you my boo.
 
I'm sorry that you are so vain,
Although Im sure I sound insaine.
I'm sorry I took my own life,
For I just couldn't take the pain.

 

Trapped By Me! By Trevena

 
Trapped by me (Trevena Harper)
 
I feel like a prisoner in my home,
My parents have no control,
There up smoking dope,
Getting stoned!
 
They don't even give a shit,
Don't even notice when i slit,
When i bleed from the inside,
Cry at my bedside.
 
"Mum stop it your hurting me"
My tearfull plee,
When she hits me!
Too scared to go out now,
Incase someone looks at me,
Is this the way it was meant to be?
 
So many years of built up pain,
I'm trapped, insane!
Scarlet tears dripping down my face,
Look at me, i'm a discrase!
 
Is life worth living?
If so what's there to live for?
Just misery? and bore?
 
Tell me the answer,
Or find me a cure,
Cause i don't want to live like this,
Anymore!
 
 
Will They Ever Learn? By Stnr
 
I sit and I cry
All the time
Asking God why
Won't you let me die?
 
He says it's not my time
That I'll be just fine
Then give me a sign
As I feel I'm last in line
 
I don't have the guts
To give myself cuts
Everything sucks
My mind is going NUTS!
 
I'm tired of being sad
Everything I do is bad
My life is just one big fad
The day I die, I'll be so glad
 
Why was I born
Into a life so torn?
Will they ever learn?
They will.....
The day they mourn. 
 
 
Can't You See? By Stnr
 
Can't you see?
Can't you see
the love powering over me?
the aching,
the burning,
the crying,
the yearning.
Can't you see?
Can't you see
the glow coming from me?
the smiles,
the laughter,
the excitement,
the answer.
Can't you see?
Can't you see
that you and I were meant to be?
the holding,
the hugging,
the staring,
the cuddling.
Can't you see?
Can't you see
that I love you
and you love me?
That we should forever be?
Can't you see?
 
 
Empty Inside
    Sheri


I'm all alone, theres no one here
I cover my face and hide my tears
Crowded room, no ones around
Screaming, but not making a sound
Nothingness swallows me and i slowly slip away
Hiding myself, scarred in dismay
Noone can help me or change how I feel
And I don't think I'll ever heal
Nothing can help me, its to late
Noone could understand me, noone could relate
So I want to keep quiet, not let all my feelings whoe
You're too involved with yourself, how could you possibly know?
I would never explain to you my feelings, and what they are all about
You never cared, you'd watch me die bleeding after you ripped my heart out
I'm sick of all the lives, living like I'm okay
Every day is the same,  yesterday and tomorow are today
Complete aloneness is taking over me, it's too over powering
The feels devouring me
I can't make them go away, they are blinding
And the scars are constantly a reminding
These feelings isolate me from the truth
And I'm completly empty inside
All good things die
 
 

Please By Lisa

please help me find another way,
please help me live another day.
 
please don't let me walk away from life,
please help me put away this knife.
 
please don't let me give up hope,
please help me get rid of this rope.
 
please help me fight away my fears,
please help me dry away these tears.
 
please don't leave me here  to die,
please help me find my wings so I can fly.
 
 
  
            good-bye by lisa
Sunlight beams through my window
and dances across my sleeping body
head resting peacefully on my pillow
a soft smile touching my lips
a graceful morning hides the events from the night before
one hundred pills and a razor blade.
my skin is stained with red,
the sheets are stained too.
the piece of paper clutched in my hand explains it all.
it was too much for me to handle.
they haven't found me yet.
dad knocks, then walks in to find my cold, lifeless self.
he reads my final goodbye
I'm sorry, dad, I hope you understand. I am happier this way.
he hugs me tight, tears staining my pillow.
'I love you pumpkin,' he whispers in my ear.
I love you too daddy.
 
 
This one is about my struggle with anorexia and bulimia.
 
  for the love of emptiness by lisa
a familiar panic
I know what I must do
I feel too fat
and must rid my body of food
 
look in the mirror
even I can see I'm too thin
the problem is, I cant stop.
 
so here I go with the same old routine
eat like a bird
feel guilty and huge.
feel I must make myself empty.
 
turn on the faucets
close the door
stick my finger down my throat
choke.
it burns coming up,
but still I continue.
heart races, I cant breathe
shaking uncontrollably
my chest hurts.
hit my chin on the toilet.
I'm on the floor in a ball
holding on for dear life
I can feel my life slipping away.
and for what? eating a little bit of food?
pathetic.
 
I wake up with my father standing next to me.
I am okay.
I get better for a while,
but after all that, I go back to my destructive habits.
will I ever change??
 

poems by Badgirl!

Poems By Badgirl

Skin Deep -Made for the site!!

Skin deep did the knife stab me
Skin deep did the knife shoot me
Only skin deep did the friendship go
Cause im still standing here on my own
Trying it again,again and again
One of these time's i no it will be the end.

You say you love me

You say you love me,but if you love me you will do anything for me,will you kill me?no,then i guess you dont love me.

I dont care anymore

dont care anymore know one cares about me,just leave me alone leave me be,i dont want to do this anymore,i never did,i guess you never knew i never wanted to live.

I scar

I scar my wrists I scar them for good,  this life is rubbish i new i could.

I oculd never survive this thing you call life this just aint me.

so leave me alone, leave me alone to die, this is the end

GOODBYE!

Im Giving Up

Im giving up i dont care anymore just forget about me i'll be gone soon, and all you will have is memories all you wanted was me i never wanted to be me i just wanted to be free

Cry

You make me want to disappear, you make me want to die, I ran home and on my bed I softly cry, I think of you and the bad
things you said, I wonder if there true, you make me want to die more than I already do. I cant take anymore of this, all that
I do and nothing is good enough for you, so goodbye forever Iíll be on my way, I never knew you hated me this way... 

I want it to be all over

 

I want it to be all over,

Just this thought of me living my life a normal life,

No that canít be me!

My life is hell but

No one can tell,

They can only the see the happy, cheery person I am on top

Not the suffering person I am underneath.

You think you No what Iím going through no you donít no1 do.

Every breath I take it gets harder Iím trying to forget you,

But everything reminds me of you,

And what we used to do but

Iíll hold my head high and try to walk away,

But your there right in front of me with every step I take,

This make's we want to die,

Because I love you, I want you; I want to hold you,

But I tell my self No he will kill me inside so Iíll stab myself before you stab me in the heart.

 

Scarring wrists
All the happy days are gone
nothing but rain from now on
since you've been gone i just cant see
how i'm gonna make it threw
with out you
but i guess i'll have 2 try
no matter how many tears leave my eyes
i gotta get threw this
i just cant help scarin my w
rists

Death is on Sale

DEATH IS ON SALE TODAY
Death is on sale today
Its free no price to pay
Just take a knife
Cut your self deep
Into a deep sleep
Were you will never rise again
You have made it
This is the end ...

This Place

THIS PLACE
Im trying to escape
This place of torture
And place of fear
This place where i never wanted to be here
This place of anger
This place of hate
This place of hell
I just want to run out and yell
"I never want to be here,
Take me away from this"
No one answered
No one replied
But the next day
I woke up and i died.

 

SHADOWZ
i've spent my life in shadowz, i dint need any1 but myself, i dint need any1 2 love me, nothin n no1 else, now i reeli regret that, im juz sum1z past, i dint tink it wud, it wud eva last, now im cast away in the shadows, i sit her all threw the nite, nite after nite no1 can c me, c me in there site, 4 i am juz a shadow, juz a ting from the past, thiz iz how i've spent my life, n 4eva it shall last.

WE WILL NEVER NO
one cold winter morning, one young + lonely gurl, woke up this morning 2find nothin but herself, she woz a puppet, the world had taken over her, the wind blew that winter morning, she awoke by herself, it began to rain, there was nothin + no1 else, the sun drew up later, later in the day, no1 eva new wat had happend, wat had taken d gurl away, the earth began 2shake, the wind began 2 blow, but wateva had taken d gurl away, we will neva no

DISAPPEAR
whsper whisper in my ear, disappear disappear, disppear into the nite, disappear out of site, dig a grave, dig it deep, steap rite in2 where the deep people meet, rite a song only we can here, i am the gurl who wishez she cud disappear

CRY
u make me wana disappear, u make me wana die, i ran home on my bed i softly cry, i tink bout u n all d bad tinz u said, i wonder if there true, all that i do, nothin iz ever good enuf, so gdbi 4ever, il be on my way, i neva new u hated me this way.

DARKNESS
i wana disappear, in2 the nite, no1 wud no i woz gone, not until lite, i wud hafta put up a fite, but it wud b worth it, if i cuf take it, i mite juz make it, out in the darkness, all on my own, were i wante 2be, from the very 1st day i came here, i new, it wasnt rite 4 me.

CHAINED
cawt up in chains, cawt in life, i feel i am a victim, a victim of myself, im chained, chained in this life, with no where 2do, the chains i fear, r here 2stay, im chained, i cant b chained much longa, no datz juz not me, gotta get out of these chains, i gotta break free.

I FINALLY NO
i hate this thing called life, 2tink it cud b gone, with a shot of a gun, or a stab of a nife, jus brings a smile  2m y face, i dont beling in this place, i've givin up hope, i've given up fear, i realised i dont beling here, 2tink i cud b sum1 else, alone, by myself, 5secundz of pain, or a life time of tears, i tink i no after all thse yearz.

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NITE
in the middle of the nite, id be walkin around,in the middle of the nite, not makin a sound, in the middle of the nite, no1 can c the shadowz that remain of me, u cant escape, u cant run far the shadows will follow u wereva u r, u cannot run u cant escape, 4 the fear u can handle, but the pain u cant take.

THE WAY U MAKE ME FEEL
u piss me off, u make me cry, u make me wanna die, u pick on me, u call me namez, u pick on me, time + time agen, all the tym u pick on me, and except me not 2 react,well my friend i've got newz 4 u,now im fitin bk!!

 

Tommorow = credit 2 chuck  Posted by bad girl!

When tomorrow starts without me
and im not there to see
if the sun should rise and fing your eyes
all filled with tears for me
i wish so much you wouldn't cry
the way you did today
while thinking of the many rhings
we didn't get to say
i no how much you love me
as much as i love you
and each time that you think of me
i no you'll miss me too
but when tomorrow starts without me
please try to understand
that an angel came and called my name
and took me by the hand
and said my place was ready
in heaven far above
and that id hae to leave behind
all those i dealy love
but as i turned to walk away
a tearfell from my eye
for all my id always thought
i didn't want to die
i had so much to live for
so much left yet to do
it seemed almost impossible
that i was leaving you
i thought of all the yesterdays
the good ones and the bad
i thought of all the love we shared
and all the fun we had
if i could relive yesterday
just even for a while
id say goodbye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile
but then i gully realiszed
that this could never be
for emptiness and memories
would take the place of me
and when i thought of worldly things
i might miss come tomorrow
i thought of yoy and when i did
my heart was filled with sorrow
but when i walked through heavens gates
i felt so much at home
when god looked down and smiled at me
from his great golden throne
he said "this is eternity
and all ive promised you"
today your life on earth is past
but here life starts anew
i promise no tomorrow
but today will always last
and since each days the same way
theres no longing for the past
you have been so faithful
so trusting and so true
though there were times you did some things
you know your shouldn't do
but you have been forgiven
and now at last your free
so wont you come and take my hand
and share my life with me?
so when tomorrow starts without me
dont think we're far apart
for everytime you think of me
im right here in your heart.

Thank you for writing these poems Badgirl they are fab!!!!

Quotes

'Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them'

'Most people walk in and out of your life but only true friends leave footprints in your heart'

ďSuicide is a serious thing, Take control of your life, before it takes control of youĒ By Samantha Johansen

'Everything is ok in the end, if its not ok, then its not the end'

'I wish i were your tears, i'd be born in your eye, live on your cheek and die on your lips. If you were my tears id never cry in case i'd lose you'

ďWhen no around you seems to care, hold your head up, and say I donít careĒ By Samantha Johansen

'God made us plain and simple, but we have made ourselves complicated'

'Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear'

Dont cry over anyone who wont cry over you'

'Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave and impossible to forget'

Evil is just Live spelled backwards

'The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else'

'Dont let the past hold you back...........................Your missing all the good stuff'

'Life is short, if your dont look around once in a while you might miss it'

'A best friend is like a four leafed clover, hard to find and lucky to have'

'Best friends are the siblings god forgot to give us'

'When it hurts to look back, and you are scared to look ahead, you can look beside you........Your best friend will be there'

". . .just cut our wrists like cheap coupons and say that death was on sale today. . ." -Marilyn Manson-

'Lend me your ear and I'll tell you about the things I fear Open your heart and I'll tell you why I'm torn apart'

"Why do you care about me now when I want to die, and not then when I wanted to live" -Tiffany Vochatzer

"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one's watching."

"Scars are stories, history written on the body." -Kathryn Harrison

"The scars will last forever, But nothing compares to the pain the put them there"

ďtears come at night smiles comes during the dayĒ By Samantha Johansen

"Therapy? I don't need that. The roles that I choose are my therapy." - Angelina Jolie

"You're young, you're drunk, you're in bed, you have knives; shit happens." - Angelina Jolie

'Dont breathe and forget to live!' - Pixie_dust (thats my motto for life)

u can fall into a bird,
u can fall into a tree,
but the best way to fall

,is in love with me! - Katie

"Suicide is painless, it brings on many changes! ..and i can take or leave it if I please!!" - Marilyn Manson

Don't settle for the one you can live with...wait for the one you can't live without! - Roisin Broad

My world stars to spin My blood runs cold These scars & cuts are way to old I've got a gun to my head
*BOOM* Im dead -
Bad Girl

I'll be happy when it's over Happy when im free Life was just not Meant for me - Bad Girl

'My first rule of consumerism is never to buy anything you cants make your children carry' - Bill Bryson 1951, American Humorist.

'Make all you can, Save all you can, Give all you can' - John Wesley 1703-1791, British religious leader

'Excellence is to do a common thing in an uncommon way' - Booker T.Washington 1856-1915, African American educationist

'Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it' - Confucius, c.550-c.478 BC. Chinese Philosopher

'It is possible to achieve anything, so long as you don't expect to gain credit from it' - Harry S. Truman 1884- 1972 American President

'Either that wallpaper goes or i do!' - Oscar Wilde 1852-1900 Irish Dramatist

'I sometimes feel that I have nothing to say and I want to communicate this' - Damien Hirst 1965 British Artist

'It is only beacuse of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually' - Dr M. Scott Peck 1936 American Psychiatrist

'If women didnt exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning' - Aristotle Onassis 1906-1975 Greek Shipping Tycoon

'The best scientist is open to experience and begins with romance - the idea that anything is possible' - Ray Bradbury 1920 American Science fiction writer

'I was the first woman to burn my bra - it took the fire department four days to put it out' - Dolly Parton 1946 American Singer

'I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them' - Ian Flemming 1908-1964 British Novelist

'A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship' - John D. Rockefeller 1874-1960 American Businessman

'I only drink to make other people seem interesting' - George Jean Nathan 1882-1958 American Theatre Critic

'It's never too late to have a happy childhood' - Tom Robbins 1936 American Writer

'Hope i die before i get old' - Pete Townshend 1945 British Rock Star

'The less you talk, the more you're listened to' - Abigail Van Buren 1918 American Journalist

 

Songs

Constant struggle- By Nadine

Verse 1
Everyday, in my pathetic life,
Is a constant struggle,
To want to keep myself alive.
I've had thoughts of death.
And am planning to die,
As soon as I get home,
And find myself a knife.

Break
Don't hold me back
This is what I want to do.

Chorus
Point a gun at my head,
And watch as I bleed
Or point a knife to my chest,
And stab me.

I can't stand this pain,
I always feel,                                                                        
When I wake up.
And remember life's real.

Verse 2
My past life,
Was nothing but hell
Mum ran away
When I was 12
Dad took a bow then jumped of the bridge.
My brother killed himself,
To join him.

I belong with them.

(Chorus)

 

Suicide is Painless  By: Marilyn Manson

The early mornin fog i see,

The visions of the things to be,

The pains that are witheld for me,

I realise and i can see...

(chorus)

Suicide is painless,

It brings on many changes,

and i can take or leave it if i please.

 

The game of life, is hard to play,

Im gona loose it anyway,

I loose it cause, i some day lay,

and this is all i have to say...

(chorus)Suicide is painless,

It brings on many changes,

and i can take or leave it if i please.

 

The sword of time, will peirce our skin,

It doesnt hurt when it begins,

but as it works its way on in,

it grows stronger, watch it brim. Cause...

(chorus)Suicide is painless,

It brings on many changes,

and i can take or leave it if i please.

 

The brain that once request in me,

to answer questions that i keep,

Is it to be, or not to be?.. and i reply,

"Oh why ask me?"

(chorus)Suicide is painless,

It brings on many changes,

and i can take or leave it if i please.

... and you can do the same thing if you please

 

Hold On - Good Charlotte

This world
This world is cold
But you don't
You don't have to go
You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems to care
You're mother's gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bear
But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through
Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Your days
You say they're way too long
And your nights
You can't sleep at all
Hold on
And you're not sure what you're waiting for, but you don't want to no more
And you're not sure what you're looking for, but you don't want to no more
But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through
Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on
What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?
Do you know what you're doing to me?
Go ahead...What are you waiting for?
Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Hold on.

You'll Be in My Heart- Usher

Come stop ur cryin it wil be alrite jus take my hand hold it tight now i will protect u from all around u i will b here dnt u cry. 4 1so small u seem so strong now my armz wil hold u keep u safe n warm this bond between uz cant b broken so im guna be here dnt u cry coz ul b in my heart ul b in my heart from diz day on now n 4eva mre. Y cant they undstand d way we feel dey juz dnt trust wat they cant explain i no were diffrent but deep inside uz were not dat diffrent at all. Ul b in my heart c ul b in my heart from diz day on now n 4eva mre from diz day on 4eva mre. Ul b in mi heart no matter wat they day ul b in ul b rite here in mi heart alwayz. dnt listen 2them cuz wat d they no we need each ova 2hav 2hold they'll c in time i no we'll show them 2geva.Ul b in my heart il alwayz b there ul b in my heart u no that from diz day on now n 4eva mre> ul b in my heart no matter wat they say ul b rite here im my heart alwayz> juz look ova ur shoulder juz luk ova ur shuolder juz luk ova ur shoulder il alwayz b there. Juz luk ova ur shoulder juz look ova ur shoulder. I'll alwayz b there.

 
Please dont do this By Lintu
 
Dont do this to yourself,
I cant bear to see you cry,
please stop these tears from falling,
please stop the blood from flowing.
 
You know it isnt right,
that you shouldnt be doing this,
you know that its their fault,
that your not the one to blame.
 
You didnt ask them to hurt you,
or make you cry,
I know that you do,
and that you hide how you feel from them,
but it will be okay,
you'll get over it.
 
Please dont do this to yourself,
I cant bear to see you die,
please stop these tears from falling,
please stop the blood from flowing.
 
You know this isnt right,
that you dont deserve to die,
their the ones who are wrong,
just keep telling yourself that.
 
You didnt ask them to hurt you,
or make you want to die,
stop hiding how you feel,
tell them,
its not fair on you.
 
Please dont do this to yourself,
please dont close your eyes,
please dont say goodbye,
dont let yourself cry...
dont give up please...
I dont want to die...

Vivica, By Jack Off Jill  Posted By asha-jane


Vivica i wish you well
i watch you burn in humid hell
No sleeping pills no old tattoos
will save you now

He'll never change he's just too vague
he'll never say you're beautiful
Vivica i wish you well i really do, i really do

The apple falls far from the tree
she's rotten and so beautiful
i'd like to keep her here with me
and tell her that she's beautiful
She takes the pills to fall asleep
and dreams that she's invisible
Tormented dreams she stays awake
recalls when she was capable...

Vivica i wish you well
i watch you sit i watch you dwell
No crooked spine no torn up rag
will save you now

He'll never change he's not that brave
He'll never say you're beautiful
Vivica i wish you well i really do, i really do

The apple falls far from the tree
she's rotten and so beautiful
i'd like to keep her here with me
and tell her that she's beautiful
She takes the pills to fall asleep
and dreams that she's invisible
Tormented dreams she stays awake
recalls when she was capable...

Oh Vivica i wish you well
i'll sit right here i'll never tell
no tender scar no twist of fate
will save you now

He'll never change he's just not there
He'll never say you're beautiful
Oh Vivica i wish you will i really do, i really do

The apple falls far from the tree
she's rotten and so beautiful
i'd like to keep her here with me
and tell her that she's beautiful
She takes the pills to fall asleep
and dreams that she's invisible
Tormented dreams she stays awake
recalls when she was capable...

She's empty and so beautiful
i'll keep her here with me
 
Everytime By Britney Spears
 posted by Stnr
 
Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?
 
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
 
I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy
 
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
Everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
 
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry
 
At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away
 
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
 


Poems by Christine!!!

Pain Inside
The pain inside i cannot hide it burns within me,
it steers across my once cold heart,
it pierces through my skin,
pumping through my veins with pain,
burning up this feeling within.
 
Random poems
 
I drag the knife across my skin, it does not hurt, i have caved in, and the blood will slowly seep, as i die beneath your feet
 
The blood runs slow and cold down my arm, i cry myself to sleep, i wish this pain wasn't surfacing and i wish reality was just a dream
 
Rage consuming, heart releasing needing my escape, blood is dripping, minds are slipping but still i refuse to wake
 
I felt the knife sheering in the letters clear and bold, they won it said, the end had come, i had not been strong, they had one and i as left to die alone
 
im left alone to cry, alone to sit and die, the floor is below me as a dangle from above, swing goes the rope as i silently choke
 
I used to cry at night, be afraid to step out of the light, but now i feel safe when in your arms, i now know that no one can cause me harm
 
Broken hearted, left deserted, crawling on the ground, stumbling and tripping for the words that can't be found, im lost inside no where to hide
 
Blood will always seep, dripping down my feet, my wounds will never heal, this is all so un real, i need help can't you see? Your killing me
 
You broke my heart can you not see how this pain is killing me, im torn apart ripped at the soul, im crying inside please let me go
 
If it weren't fot the call i'd be dead, laid there cold on my bed, i was almost there, my problems floating off into the air, you stopped me, why?
 
My love belongs to you, i still really miss you, i need you in my arms, help save me from this harm, yet you've left me all alone, i need you know here with me, heed my call and come be with me
 
Why cant i go away somewhere where my worries will float away, and somewhere where my fear has no place to stay, somehwere where i can hide away
 
Im Broken
Im cracked along the surface,
My contents leaking out,
The seams at which im sown together,
Are splitting right down.
Im broken...
 
No one seems to care,
Where i am or what i do,
The more that i cut myself,
The less i notice you.
Im broken...
 
I block you from my memory,
Im closing all the doors,
My mind is being shut down,
Im dying now.
Im broken...
 
The words swivel round my head,
My blood is slowly draining,
I lay lifeless on the floor,
Thinking of how i was before but now
Im broken...
 
My time for life to end,
Is slowly nearing the peak,
I say goodbye to all the things that help me,
Im broken...
 
As i bring the knife closer,
I wait for the nightmare to end,
I feel it sheering in,
The blood forever seeping.
Im broken...
 
Im slowly drifting off,
The world is turning black,
I step into the light,
I have lost all my fright and pain.
Im dead.

 
 give up on you, I need something new, I've waited far too long this has obviously got to be wrong, goodbye

I feel the break in my mind, my sanity has left, I feel the blade sinking in the blood will put me at my rest, forever in the black, never looking back

Sometimes it takes a litle thing to realise where your going wrong, sometimes it takes a broken heart to realise that you were wrong

I slowly burn, the flames consume me,swallowing me whole, the ashes making charcoal stains instead of blood being splatered on the wall

Why do these tears fall from my eyes as I hide behind deceit and lies, I am trapped forever lost, stuck behind this ever vigulant fog

I am left confused, broken and bruised, lost in this world of hopelessness happiness fades to darkness as the sky above me falls

I never asked for all this confusion, I never asked for you to cause me pain, I tried but i am no better, I only have myself to blame

 

Songs By Amanda Baker

About Me

 

This is a poem about me

a sorry poem of depression

about the anguish felt inside

a poem about suppression

 

Suppressing the feeling deep inside

of quietly going insane

Forgetting all the good things

and concentrating on what remain

 

The demons in my thoughts

are flirting with the weary,

My weary brain is out of control

resulting in me getting teary

 

The ghosts within my mind

are making me reminisce

of every crappy memory

of everything I miss

 

I sleep because Iím tired

Iím awake because Iím scared

I ache because Iím hurting

I cry cause no one cared

 

Sleep take me away

 

Every night I go to sleep

I pray I never waken,

This world holds so much hurt for me

in everything itís taken

 

Iíve become that lonely sad girl

that people would rather forget,

Iíve been branded as a failure

forgotten by everyone Iíve met

 

In sleep I can forget

the person Iíve become,

The things people have said

and better yet, what theyíve done

 

Iíve finally became the cast away

what Iíve always feared Iíd be,

Known as what I cant do

and less and less for me

 

So I end my sorry plee

with many things left unsaid,

Iím not crazy on the outside.

Iím crazy in my head

 

Colours of my life

 

I think about the day you left

and cry sometimes alone

You left your bestfriend in the dirt

and your girlfriend on a throne

 

As I cry a little harder

my tears turn a darker shade of blue

As I think of what youíve done to me

and all Iíve done for you

 

As I think of all the old times

my life turns a darker shade of grey

How could you turn your back on me

and be straight back on your way?

 

As I think of what Iíve done

the carpet turns a darker shade of red

I should be thinking of my family

but Iím thinking of you instead

 

As I think of what's to come

my world turns a darker shade of black

As I think of where youíre going

and how Iím never coming back

Poems by Katey!!

WARPED & TWISTED

Harsh words and violent blows

Hidden secrets nobody knows

Eyes are open, hands are fisted

Deep inside Iím Warped & twisted

So many tricks and so many lies

Too many whenís and too many whys

Nobodies special, nobodies gifted

Iím just me warped & twisted

Sleeping awake and choking on a dream

Listening loudly to a silent scream

Call my mind, the numbers unlisted

Lost in someone so warped & twisted

On my knees, alive but dead

Look at the invisible blood Iíve bled

Iím not gone, my mind has drifted

Donít expect much Iím warped & twisted

Burnt out, wasted, empty and hollow

Todayís just yesterdays tomorrow

The sun died out, the ashes shifted

Iím still here warped & twisted

 

Broken

You look at this world with hatred

Anger burns in your heart

All the things that have been said

Are tearing your life apart

Sadness overwhelms you

You cry all day and all night

Things you try to do make you wonder if

Life is worth the fight

 

Sorrow

Sorrow is white with anger

It feels like never ending pain

 

Why

I cut myself

To feel the pain

The pain in which

Keeps me sane

I know you hate it

As I do

But itís my way of getting through

Times I want to die

I want to stop

Iíve really tried

But when I see the blood

I feel so alive

And I know you say

If I need to cut & bleed

To come to you

For the shoulder I need

But itís so hard for me 

To let my feelings out

Although my heart screams and shouts

You don't understand it

I donít expect you to

But sometimes I canít take this sh*T

I do what Iíve got to do

I hate to see you hurt

As you do I

But our hurts are different

The question is why

 

Whisper to a scream

Can you not see me?

My eyes are filled with tears

Can you not hear me?

Iíve been crying for all these years

I guess I've just hidden it inside

Pushed it as deep as it ca go

I guess Iím a pretty good actress

Cuz I never let it show

I'm afraid they'll see me weak

For just a single moment of the day

I'm afraid they'll see the little girl

Not the bit*h thatís tough in every single way

Only a select few have seen me at my worst

Very few people have ever seen me cry

I apologize to those

They are not your problems but mine

But as strong as I look

I have so many fears

And as tough as I seem

Iíve shed too many tears

 

Mirror Image

 

I stare into the mirror

Starring at what looks like me

But isn't

Thatís not my reflection

Itís the appearance I thought I hid

Itís the screaming I hear

Inside of my head

It appears on the mirror

An apparition of the past

The thoughts I feel become physical

No longer mental

My eyes starred back at me

That sad lonely face appeared

And for an instant I saw my strength

The strength I thought I lost

A once strong person on the out side

Becomes how she feels on the inside

Lost but with a glint of hope

Barely there

Tiny in size

But never-the-less

The strength I need

To move away from the

Mirror image

 

Nearly unnoticed
 
She is lonely
even though you can't tell
she is reaching out
For what, she doesn't know
She will continue to sit in silence
and hope that someone may stumble across her
and all her emptiness
but they only hope they do it in time
otherwise she'll have drifted too far
and she may let go
of whatever grasp of the world she has
as she slowly fades out  of the lives oe everyone
nearly unnoticed

Fight Cancer

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